A MOTHER'S LOVE - PAM

Featuring  MORE Stories about LOVE in the Month of LOVE-

Mothers wear many hats, and Pam has confidence and experience in every role.  She is

on the high seas of parenting four school age children.  Her tote bag is equipped with band aids,lip gloss, sunscreen, granola bars, paper and pens, hair bands, hand wipes, and just about anything that a bustling family may need.  Her SUV has a supply of water bottles and snacks. It is apparent that her days revolve around her calendar and lists.

Pam is in the driver’s seat multiple times daily, juggling pick-up and drop-off schedules

to schools, dance practice, orthodontist appointments, and farmers’ markets.  She has periods of

“curbside” waiting that allow her to read her book, catch up on her calendar, or nap.

Weekends are frequently filled with sports or dance competitions out of town. That is the time to pack the food, gear, and finally the kids.  These are chaotic times, but the trips are fun, and time passes quickly.  With all eight seats filled, kids chat away at high speed and volume. As the food and drinks are passed around, the rising noise level doesn’t faze Pam.  She loves the energy and silliness in the back seats as long as they are all safe and buckled up. “It will all happen too quickly,” she says, as she thinks about them growing up and becoming independent.

As she loads up the kids and sees that they are all settled with seatbelts fastened, she

checks her list and mirrors. She thinks about stretching one more time before taking her place in the driver’s seat and turns the key.  Her hands are at the helm, steering the pack to the next activity.  With a spirit of love and gratitude for her dear cargo, a sense of privilege and grace, Pam embraces these precious moments that leave fingerprints on the SUV’s windows and fingerprints on her heart.

    

Calling for LOVE The Month of LOVE...

EXCERPTS FROM REAL: LOVE CHAPTER..

Woody and Kay-

It was a surprise romance . . .

Woody had just lost his beloved wife of six decades to a chronic illness.  His love was so great and enduring that as wise and faithful as he was, it was the hardest thing he’d ever done, continue on without his Marguerite.

Along came Kay.  

Woody and Kay had been childhood friends from age three through elementary school, but it had been decades since they had seen each other. They both were happy to have remarkable memories from over 80 years earlier.  They remembered making mud pies and catching bugs, neighborhood games and beginnings of school. They remembered the wide-eyed excitement of making perfume in jelly jars with water and rose petals.  When they met again they were both widowed and welcomed this spark of love and comfort.

It was only weeks after this reunion that they decided to get married. Woody was seeing the world again in a joyous light. He was happy and hopeful, respectful of his love for his Marguerite, but in love with a friend who loved him back. At first it was sudden and difficult for family members to accept, thinking it would take longer to let go of Marguerite. Nothing they said would change his mind. He married Kay within just a few months.  Kay was a new bride again, and the details of planning the wedding and reception were going to be delightful. 

One detail she did not have to tend to was the reception centerpiece design.  Woody guaranteed he would provide something appropriate and it was to be a secret.  After the ceremony, the newlyweds were presented in the reception hall and on each table, Kay saw Woody’s surprise.   

Each center was their perfume . . . a jelly jar filled with water and rose petals.

New Voice Leaves Its Echo...

What a refreshing experience for those who attended the spoken word poetry event at the Clark Center in Arroyo Grande last weekend! Sarah Kay and Phil Kaye of Project Voice performed to enthusuastic crowd and standing ovation and did workshops to capacity classes at La Perla del Mar.
The art form of Spoken Word Poetry is very new , but fast becoming a movement because of its growing popularity among high school and college age people.  It is NOT hum drum poetry, a monotonous flow of rhyming words or prose, or boring in any way.
Some people expected that the evening was going to be just that, maybe tolerable, but most likely dull.   I overheard some people arriving to the performance saying, "I will give it a few minutes, but if I start nodding or snoring, let's think about leaving", or, "At least I'll get a nap."  Were those people surprised!   The dynamic of the poetry, the impact of so much in few words was something they will never forget.  Within the first two or three words of Phil and Sarah's first poem, mouths in the audience were dropping, whispers of "Oh my GOSH!" or gasping were heard expressing almost disbelief at what was happening on stage.  The level of attention and desire for more only grew over the next hour.  Everyone in the crowd was not thinking of anyplace else they would rather be but right there, and right then.  They felt like part of the stories. They wanted to learn to to use this new voice to tell their own story.  "How do they do that?" was heard by many.

This is a new voice, a new "prophet", as someone called it, for a new generation.  Each of us has it inside of us waiting to be discovered and called upon, with courage, humor, attention to craftsmanship of expressing the things that are important to us.  Hopefully, the movement will continue and workshops will be more frequent and available.   Hopefully we can add a new, very meaningful and true way of communicating beyond the comfort of our slang, our abbreviated grammar, our texting that is will bring people together to share experiences, solve problems and inspire compassion.

Before they left, SLO gave them a moment of surprise at Bubble Gum Alley...

 Thank you Project Voice.

PAIR OF SKATES Northern Minnesota

The summer memories are of warmth of the sun, all trees, crops and flowers green and in bloom.  I can hear the giggles of the sisters as they must have played outdoors.... Eileen, Leone, Gladys, Eldeen, Gwen...

When winter came, the laughter, singing, and fun came indoors.  Emma encouraged them to use the attic and the girls turned it into their skating arena.  It would be below zero outside, but the sisters would fill that attic with activity and imagination. 

 There was one pair of skates. the kind with the skate key to adjust for size. That meant that because they had to share the skates, one sister would crank the adjustment down to fit her smaller foot, and the other could easily loosen up the fit for her larger foot.  They proudly pose here in this photo... hands on their hips, like fashion models... Eileen so admiringly holding her big sister, Leone's hand.  Tall and lanky, Leone adored her sisters and even sharing the pair of skates.  Being the typical pre teen young lady, she shyly would pose her skate less foot behind the one with the skate, looking so poised and graceful, like a princess, as she role modeled for young Eileen.

On the Farm 1920's Minnesota

So Long 2011 CHET, JANE, and BOB and Welcome 2012!

As the sun sets on this past year, and rises on the new we wish everyone a most joyous and safe New Years Eve and a BEST Year yet to come! We thank the dozens of friends we have met through our book events this year!  We also reflect fondly on those we will miss.  We are so grateful that we have the likes of Jane (Russell) and Chet (Hill) and Bob (Sorvig) in the pages of REAL.  Their stories will continue to remind us of Balance, Hope, and Love.  They also remind us to appreciate those around us, even those we don't know, and how EVERYONE makes a difference in this life.  It truly IS a Wonderful Life!

Turning the pages, turning of the years... Address Book Memories

I have often helped my 91 year old mom address her Christmas cards.  This year was a bit different from times before.  It is always so heartwarming to sit at her table by the window and talk about how lucky we are to be so close.  Two weeks ago when I sat in my spot, she had placed a rubber band bound stack of tiny address books by the cards. These were address books that I had not seen in decades.  The familiarity of them tugged very deeply at my heart and brought back memories of my own, even sounds and scents of our home from decades ago. I remember being a little girl and pulling out one of them to look up an address of an aunt or cousin for my own notes.  I imagined the memories my mother must have  when she flipped through the pages of each one.  A couple of them were "before my time"and full of names and details from as far back as the 1930's.  It was precious to hear her recall who some people were and where they lived and how she knew them.  It was dramatic to see how many had been crossed out because they had died, more like they had passed on but not forgotten - their place and time recorded in her book.  The covers of the address books were worn by love and use, and the material and design reflected an era.  

We addressed the few envelopes that she would send this year, and enjoyed the minutes of reading through names and places.  It was a special surprise to go through her "Princess Gardner" spiral bound photo book to see the tiny black and white images she had stored their from her younger years.  This was the collection that would have fit into her "billfold" in her purse and traveled with her  everywhere so that she could share her photos with pride. There was something very warm and personal about holding these in my hands, and seeing them in hers. The collection of years of friends and family, comings and goings and staying connected through expressions of love.  Thank you, Mom, for reminding me of how such a simple thing can mean so much.   

What Music Looks Like!

I could not help but feel my heart singing to this! 

Clouds dancing to what must be joyous and playful music! 

Smart 'hop or Smart Shop, How does YOURS run?

Uncle Dave is in the introduction to REAL, his story is an affirmation of the stories our hands have to tell.  He is having a hard time remembering much, but his hands show the work he has done, and his creations show the ways he has impacted his community, his family and even the world. He created a contraption decades ago that looks like a giant turntable... it spun slabs of heavy steel and would bend the edges down so that it would provide a better seal for tanks of all types... He played around with an old hose from hair dryers and tubing and blankets and created the prototype for warming blankets.  His shop is gloriously full of materials and tools, full of life and ideas.  I love his tablets of commandments where it says , "The smart shop is not run by a computer" ... and "that the smart shop can be anywhere that we are"!  Everyone has his or her own smart shop!

Flying, Family, Freezing and the Deep Dark Woods!

sunrise california from the air

cold farmland Minnesota December 10

Moonrise evening of December 10
so cold and crisp

the deep dark woods...

the deeper darker woods...

the moon peeking through the deep dark woods of Maple Lake Minnesota
cold cold winter

After the passing of Bob in Minnesota, I was thankful to be able to attend the service and family gatherings surrounding the time of tribute and memories.....
The flights and connections added up to a long day on Friday and Sunday, but were well worth day of gratitude and warmth in between.  Lots of hugs and tears and smiles, and lots of food later, I felt so close and  comfortable even though far from home.  

One of the most vivid and alive stories was about the "deep dark woods".  These woods are dense and along a dirt road that has been used for decades as a short cut or diversion from the ordinary  route to school, church or the market.  They were freezing cold and stark.  The trees and darkness inspire the imagination.... creatures, critters and things that do more than go "bump" in the night!
Loved the cold, the family warmth, the traditions and the love!

Bob, You Will Be Missed

Bob's is a Love story, for the love of his life, Shirley, for  his sons and daughters, and their children... for his extended family, his farm, church, and especially God.  It is a good thing he was a big man, because that it is a lot of love.

Bob peacefully passed away yesterday morning.   His love will continue to be felt through generations.

-Bob and Shirley-

As he steadies his balance with the best grip he can get on his cane, Bob clasps the gentle hands of his dear Shirley.  Their wristwatches symbolize the importance of time.  They have had almost sixty years together, six children, many grandchildren, and now great-grandchildren.

He still has the broad lumberjack build of a Minnesota farmer.  Petite Shirley is even smaller with age, but there is a strength from within her that has rehabilitated Bob from the stroke.  Somehow she has been able to keep up her household routine with the same love for setting the table and feeding a large family as she has for decades.  Shirley is Bob’s extra hands and caretaker.  Bob has had to let go of some of his masculine pride so that his wife can lovingly button his buttons, click his seatbelt, and drive them to appointments or church.  There is a shared sense of humor between them and the bantering just makes the adjustment easier.

He was the head of the house, driving trucks and huge farm equipment.  She was the full-time mom, with an assortment of aprons for time spent in the kitchen.  There were cows to milk, eggs to gather, gardens to tend.  Days began with the sunrise and were long and full.  There were the seasons for plowing and planting, summertime fishing and mosquitoes, and the long, dark, cold winters.

From the beginning, their journey has been one of side-by-side togetherness. This season of their life together has brought them to a different daily routine.  They end each day with a precious ritual.  Bob must sleep in a hospital bed and Shirley has a bed adapted to her weakening knees.  They share the same room with their beds close together.  They take each other’s hand, give thanks for a wonderful rich life and they pray for loved ones. Hands clasped, they fall asleep.

Madness? DREAMS Come True!

Congratulations to David and his crew of their new surf film, "SURF MADNESS". David and surf pro, Sterling Spencer are permiering their new project this week in Florida, California and Hawaii!  The film promises to be filled with humor and fun, as well as thrilling surfing by many of the world's best!  
We look forward to the success of their film and whatever they may do next!
(David is featured in the chapter of DREAMS.)

The Art of Slowing Down- Gladys, Wisdom and Acceptance

-Gladys-

Her fingers are taking a shape of their own these days.  At times, to use or move them is painful.  She can still write a letter and occasionally she can piece together a jigsaw puzzle.  She enjoys reading her Bible, however her interests are more than sedate. With the excited energy of a sports fan, she looks forward to golf tournaments on television and loves to keep up with the stats of her favorite players. 

Gladys has strong and fond memories of the earliest days of her local Lutheran church.  It was in that church that she found her calling, one to which she was devoted.  She took on a range of responsibilities and held multiple church positions before she ultimately became the designated writer of notes, acknowledgements, birthday greetings, and thank you cards. 

She brought to the task the training of her Midwest education, and a self-cultivated discipline and commitment to continue practicing impeccable penmanship.  Her skill exemplified “the art of letter writing.” 

The perfect lines, loops, and cursive lettering of her early notes appear almost like fine lace—an art form of her own design, delicate and beautiful.  Her handwriting encapsulates a legacy of excellence and attention to detail that somehow in its perfection still exudes warmth and love. To hold her hand-written note is to experience grace and beauty.

The flowers and trees outside her sliding glass door are her daily entertainment.  There is pleasure in witnessing the small changes of the seasons and the sounds of the birds that bring the outdoors to Gladys.  She is homebound with physical limitations, yet she is far from bored.  She has learned the art of slowing down and doing less. Life is simple and visitors are treasured.

Catching up with the College Kids: Meredith, Kelly, Carly, Trevor, Mike

It has been a pleasure to stay in touch with these young students who are featured in our DREAMS chapter.  I spent the some time on the tide pools with Kelly and Meredith yesterday, and enjoyed their gentle "childlike" wonder of the wildlife found in that fascinating ecosystem. They had spent hours on the pools as very young kids, however, they expressed a similar appreciation yesterday, as if for the first time or maybe it was because of the deep appreciation of the simple miracles of life they have gained in the more worldly experiences of recent years.

Kelly shared her stories of episode of the Occupy UC Davis movement and police brutality there.  Her dedication to her fellow students has her looking forward to returning to campus after a short break for Thanksgiving at home.  For Meredith, the short holiday is like coming up for air, until she returns to UCSB. She will not waste anytime shifting back into gear as a director for EENG (Environmental Education for the New Generation),  in Global Brigades (Ghana 2012), in her job at the market, and in her final weeks of class as she completes her major this winter.  Somehow, these two, and the other "Dreamers" still find time for moments of quiet, and make time for friends and fun.
Updates on Trevor, Mike and Carly to come...

-Meredith, Kelly, Carly, Trevor, Mike-

Part of an extraordinary class of high school graduates, these young people were motivated in every way.  They loved the challenge of academics, sports of all types, the arts, the youth group meetings, and mission trips.  They were active in extracurricular activities, clubs, and volunteer work.

They had developed a bond of friendship that became the catalyst for this motivation.  Each friend encouraged, supported, or challenged the other.  This dynamic made their daily routine seem more of an adventure.  Even preparing for the SATs or filling out college applications was a bonding experience.  Their friendship appears to be as wholesome as a script from a 60s television show.  It is, however, as real as the smell of chocolate chip cookies baking in the oven.

These friends are now in college.  They have been the high achievers of high school and behave as if they expect nothing less on this level.  They plug in healthy doses of fun, humor, and silliness as needed to balance the demands they put on themselves.  They keep each other in check with their cell phone messaging.  It is like passing notes, with the ability to respond in an instant.

Their idealism and confidence are paired with a healthy balance of wisdom and accountability for their young age. Their world is changing rapidly, and they are prepared and armed with all the tools they can gather, including each other, to move into the age of adulthood.

Here's Jonny!

 -Jonny-

It was with a bit of daring and whim that we decided to get the cartilage of our ears pierced.  Of course the potential for pain was a factor, but the intimidation I felt about going to a tattoo parlor was another obstacle for me to overcome.  My three daughters insisted that this shop was the best in town.

Jonny met us and gave us forms to complete and asked for the required identification.  In addition to his multiple tattoos and facial piercings, Jonny’s nonchalant demeanor had me curious.

“Before we actually do this, I need to know something.” I asked, much to my daughters’ embarrassed groans.  “Are you happy today?  Are you in a good mood?”  He looked up and spoke sincerely, “Yeah!  I just got back from a vacation and you are the first customers today. I am rested and happy.  This will be easier than you might think.”

He took the four of us into his workspace, which, besides the artwork and cluttered décor looked much like a dental office complete with autoclaved instruments, sterile materials, and sparkling stainless steel.  This young man took his work seriously and treated us with sensitivity and deliberate care.  He talked us through the procedure, step by step . . . “the needle goes in as you exhale . . . it will be as smooth as a knife through butter.”

Jonny was extremely hygienic, changing gloves, materials, and tools with each person, checking for blood vessel anatomy on each of our ears to be sure he had marked the correct spot.  As each of us stood up with our new earring, and attentively listened to Jonny’s post care instructions, we were so relieved and proud!

Tattoos and piercings may be at the peak of popularity, but Jonny’s manner reminded us that etiquette, patience, respect and daring never go out of style.

Love, the Common Thread

It has been so fun to receive the many comments and personal stories of our readers.   Just recently we received a kind card which enclosed this photograph.  It is the proud and happy portrait of four generations of the ladies in a Minnesota family.  Great- grandma, Evelyn, sent this of her daughter, grand daughter and great grand daughters.  Surely there are many stories that are imagined as we look at the tiny hands, the graceful aged hands, the hard working hands and the lively, bold fingernail polish.  This is precious.   Thank you for sharing this example of family and great love,  of time and ties. 


There are images like this that get passed on through emails, and the fact that they get passed on is because we all "get it".  Our hands really do speak volumes, but the greatest and strongest theme is LOVE.