Ready Set GOLD!

Thanks to Judy Watkins and Remnants of the Past Fall 2011, I am back at creating sets!  Her idea was to create 9 large panels (8'x4') in glittering gold metallic, double sided that will hang from the ceiling of the Madonna Inn Expo Center http://www.madonnainn.com/expo.php during the weekend long event.  A total of 18 chandeliers, each covered with hundreds of hot pink  crystals will be painted, one on each side of the 9 panels.  Really a fun idea. Laura came out to paint today and we were delighted to finish the priming and finally get to test the "pharoah gold" color! The photo does not reflect the glimmer, but it is going to be Fabulous!  Good to get our hands dirty, a little bit of sun, and take our tea breaks after each coat of paint.  I am honored to be contributing to Judy's mission.  She and "Remnants" benefit the SLO Women's Shelter from the success of the show, and it is more and more successful every year! Congratulations Judy!  And best wishes to all who participate in this fall's event!

Bless the Beasts

The routine of regular morning walks brings with it a sense of comfort, motivation, anticipation and familiarity.  Even though the routes are always routine, it is never boring. In fact, if we miss a day, it is like not having that first cup of coffee in the morning.
One of our routes is through the village of Arroyo Grande which is featured in several places in our book, REAL, especially in the chapter of Life about Jim and Garin.  In an area along the creek, by the swinging bridge, behind a row of businesses, we always greet the dozens of roosters who enjoy the serenity of the creekside.  Lately we noticed a rabbit, which was a surprise, as it was a domestic rabbit.  In the next few days, we timed our walks a bit differently and found that there are more animals than we ever knew living in the creek area right down town, cats, rabbits, roosters and who knows what else. These animals are mostly those who, sadly, have been abandoned by their owners.  They all come out of hiding and when they hearthe call of some wonderful volunteers.  It was a surprise to me and Candy, my walking buddy, that there are a handful of people who come to feed these animals.  We thanked another woman this morning as she scooped some food out from her truck and greeted the happy critters who flocked to her feet.  It was a warm and cheerful thing to witness, even though they were unwanted, they were getting love and food.  They responded to her chatting and gentleness.  So far, it does not appear to be out of hand, and it seems to be something the volunteers look forward to doing in the morning.  However, we were hoping that it does not give more people the invitation to cast their animals out in hopes that they will be cared for.  This is a lucky bunch, which seems to have a safe balance and have found caring hands and hearts.  Thank you volunteers. Thank you to all who love and cherish, and want to keep their furry, feathered, scaly family members.

Denmark, Neverland, Wine, Lavender, and Horses, and Liberty in Three Hours

The Statue of Liberty, a lavender farm, miniature horses, swedish clogs, danish pastry, split pea soup and Christmas all in a half day!   My old (20 years) brown clogs had finally fallen apart and it was time to either order them online, or make an event out of it.  We decided that latter.  My 90 year old mom has been house bound with a knee fracture for 8 weeks, soon to walk again, and she thought it would be fun to take the ride to Solvang to get the new pair of clogs.   Solvang in itself is eternally charming, with its extraordinarily beautiful Santa Ynez Valley wine country location, Danish architecture, shops and food, and horse ranches. Realizing she would really not get out of the car once she was in it, we planned to take in the lessor known treats in the area.   Going south from Cal 101 we exited toward Los Olivos and then turned left onto Figueroa Mt Rd.  Our friend , Laura, was along and had been hoping to see Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch someday.  After taking some photos at the gate, we drove back through Los Olivos and turned off toward a most wonderful Lavender farm.  The aroma is heavenly, the grounds are heavenly and so pristine.  They do have a sense of humor there with the landmark Statue of Liberty front and center!   It turns out that she is the prop used in one of the Ghostbusters movies.  Time to move on, next was a visit to Quicksilver miniature horse ranch.  It is easy to park next to the fence and see them up close, so for my mom it was perfect.  Tiny new babies were with their mothers on one end, and soooo cute! After five minutes, we moved on to Solvang, clog shopping and pastries.  Just a quick stop, we headed west past the Ostrich Farm to Buellton to Andersen's where we all ordered the all-you -can-eat pea soup and browse the Christmas Shop!   This was a speed tour/shopping day, in a place where you can see a lot in  few miles and limited time!  It was great to see Eileen have such an ambitious and entertaining outing.  We were all reminded of how lucky we are to live in this part of California.

Living in Full Color

This last weekend, I had the pleasure of visiting the home of artist, Chet Hill.  I was so excited to tell him that we at La Perla del Mar Chapel in Shell Beach were contacted by someone interested in purchasing one of his paintings of the chapel for a soon to be married couple.  At age 92, with a few physical ailments, I wondered if he might still be able to produce another one of his colorful pieces.  Fortunately, he had not done only one painting, and we were happy to know the customer would be satisfied in any case.

Just walking through the front door, I was immediately reminded of the fullness of life, the color and brilliance, the thoughtfulness that he puts into his work.  It is hard to believe that this man has had extremely limited vision for several years, and yet maybe that is what makes his work so special.  I continue to be inspired by his wit and memory.  I find it hard to imagine that his ability to be so productive and creative is anything less than extraordinary.  He is exemplary of Erma Bombeck's quote:  "When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would have not a single bit of talent left.  That I could say, 'I used everything you gave me.'"

Saying "No" to Ticks and Wondering While Wondering

Bless the generous owners of the beautiful ranchland around the morros of San Luis Obispo County. As Hurley and I hiked this morning on the Johnson Trail, I  occasionally swerved away from some of the brush and wild flowers growing wildly over the trail sides.  "Ticks, Hurley, watch out for ticks... ", I thought.  As I did, the immediate feeling I got is of dread, as I have personally known people who have suffered from terrible Lyme Disease - Truly No Joke - a tragic, life long infection to have.   Then in after a moment that fear turns to gratitude and praise for the great fortune to having a trail to walk upon, the open space to explore.   I don't want the fear of ticks or disease to deter me.  In, fact, having these extraordinary places to hike is priceless and an incredible act of generosity by the families who own the land.  Thank you Thank you to those families, who entrust the public to hike on their property, treat it and the animals with respect and leave it nicer than when we found it.  Additionally, as I hiked along, I realized the freedom and beauty of these great outdoor areas is "walkable and passable" because of a handful of people, the trailworkers.  I wondered who they are and how brave they must be to  face the ticks.  How dusty and sweaty they must get by the end of a day, but how happy knowing the great deed they have done.  I was so grateful for these people who volunteer, spend their free time, along the paths cutting back the excess brush.  They make the way clear for the hundreds of us who walk right on in through the trail head marker, feeling like we are coming home... almost like it belongs to US!  Thank you to all of them!
As Hurley and I turned the last bend to come into view of civilization: the parking lot,  there was a group of five people putting up a sign.  I wondered if it was like our recent posting at our beach..." Shark Warning" but instead "Wild Pig Warning".  Not at all.... the sign said "Trail Work Day"
inviting others to join in.  I told them how much I had thought about the wonderful work they do and how all of us hikers should be singing their praises.   They shyly allowed me to take their photo.

Nice answer to wondering while I wandered.http://santalucia.sierraclub.org/ninesis.html

You Want to Make God Laugh?

Life gets so busy, and time can pass so quickly.   It sometimes feels like high speed on the freeway in traffic... We can get so frustrated at delays, detours, and jams on the road.  We can get impatient with slow lines in the market, malfunctions at the car wash,  complex and long transactions in the bank drive through.
Years ago, I got a notion to try to curb my temper during these kinks in "MY" day.  Instead of getting angry or disgusted, I started praying during the wait time.  I would pray for friends or family in need, pray for patience :),  pray for our country, for the drivers around me that they too would be able to remain calm and find something good in their day. I would pray that there must be some blessing in the delay and that I might see it, and if I did not see it, that I could just trust that there was.

That is the good part.  When we can be surprised at how our day might change from what we wanted it to be , from what our plan was, and that it became something far more significant or meaningful.   That we really needed to be right where we were at that time and at the end of the day, it is all right.  And truly, truly, God wants to be right there with us, hearing and seeing His hand on all things, all the time.

My dear friend, Suzanne, has a birthday today.  Happy Birthday Suz!  Years ago, she gave me that refreshing perspective: "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans for the day:".

I continue make a plan, fill my calendar,  check things off the to do list, but am becoming more comfortable with those things that get in the way of my plans and add richness to the day.  Life is full of surprises.  I wish your day to be a day that is like no one else's day!

Princess, Adventurer, and Wings

Last week was full of hard, hard work and hurdles all of which were worth the effort.  It is just remarkable to see how much we can physically and emotionally endure, with patience, strength and perseverance.  The middle of the week was punctuated by a break from commitment to spontaneity and surprise.   I was able to meet friends from years ago, Nancy and her daughter Ali, who now has daughters of her own.  Ali and her girls were visiting from South Carolina and had chosen a beautiful day to visit our beach.  As we reminisced and caught up, it was so pleasant and comfortable to see that the connection as friends was immediate and familiar, despite the time that had passed.  It was a refreshing reminder of precious time and precious relationships, and it was ok to put the work and pressures aside for awhile.  

Ali shared this photo of one of her daughters holding an aged and broken butterfly, almost looking more like a moth.  I am grateful to share it here.  I am struck by the young fingers that have wisdom to hold it gently,  the sparkle of the nail polish, half worn off by playing- the shared pleasures of being a princess one moment and an adventurer the next.  The butterfly is missing much of its wings, and what is left is almost translucent.  However, its legs and body look as though it still has the desire to go on about its life, to carry on the best it can.  It is interesting to think about how small and fragile this creature is and yet how great a distance those wings must have carried it, until finally there are no more wings to fly with, how hard it must have worked and how much beauty it must have brought to the world.  I think there is a bit of princess and adventurer in most women, and also a bit of a weary winged butterfly as we try to live life fully and look for our gentle places to land.
 Thank you for sharing this photo and thank you for helping me for the afternoon! 

Catching Up!

Thank you Terilee for this great shot... my well worn hands.

We have been making some changes in our blog, and it is probably apparent that many posts from our older blog are being added here.  There happen to be some that we decided have some fun information, or flavor, or friends that we did not want to leave out from our new blog site.  Thank you for sorting through and hopefully finding something you might enjoy!  

Kick Off Ends in Home Run!

We are just starting to get up to speed.   Learning all of this is such a challenge to me, as I mentioned in an earlier blog. We truly are so excited about the book release party at La Perla del Mar.  Looks like about 250 - 300 people stopped by to share the joy, and it was fun from beginning to end.  Our book, Real , features about stories of about 65 people that are basically anonymous, first name only, with photos of their hands.  It was really exciting to have most of them at this first party so that they could reveal their identities, only if they wanted to, and also sign their pages in the book. They were like celebrities for the whole night!  Everyone was going about and introducing themselves and sharing stories and getting signatures and just enjoying meeting someone new.   By the end of the night Terilee and I were glad we had set aside books for the next day, because we had another book signing in the morning at a local church!   We really love the support our local community has given us.  Thank you to everyone who made it a really successful kick off !!

A week later we signed at the LA Festival of Books at USC in Los Angeles. More coming up...

"I've Got Something to Say"

Another reflection on our book release party.  It was such a joy to share this time with so many people who were a part of the book as well as so many people from our communities of the Central Coast of California.  The noise of chatter filled La Perla chapel for at least three hours. There were lots of new faces and lots of hugs all around.  Two memorable moments were: the screening of the book video trailer on our big screen and when Lloyd stood up and asked for everyone's attention.  He had something he wanted to say and asked Lynn to give a loud whistle to grab everyone's attention. Lloyd then stepped to the top of the stage and addressed the crowd with a big thank you to everyone, but then proceeded to share his feelings and concern about the recent tsunami disaster in Japan.  He talked about his love for Japan and its people, and his experience there with the Special Olympics.  We were moved to smile and cheer and even get teary, about the cause, and even more about the passion with which Lloyd spoke, encouraging everyone to care, to be proud of our country, to appreciate each other and how much we need each other.  Thank you Lloyd for being you. 

From Internment to Enrichment: Kaz

Another of REAL's featured subjects is Kazuo.  His story of endurance, friendship and heritage are so powerful. His Japanese family's contributions to our community are immeasurable and lasting.  This pre- New Year's, December 2010, my daughter, Meredith and I were invited to a "mochi pounding" celebration at "the ranch".  As a Japanese tradition, just before New Years Day, the families come together to prepare the rice in steaming vats, pound volumes of it to make a dough, then pull and roll it into dumplings.  They  are then either stuffed with a sweet black bean filling or left beautifully and deliciously plain.

It has been the practice, as a right of passage, that the young men do the pounding of the rice.  However, as this generous Asian family of several generations, dozens of aunts, uncles, cousins welcomed friends and neighbors, even I and my daughter were encouraged to take part each step of the ritual.  The first session of pounding is done with carved wood dowels that are about the size of closet rods.  The pounders form a circle around a massive granite bowl on a wooden stand. The rice is shoveled into the bowl and we marched in  circles pounding the rice for several minutes.  The next step was the mallet pounding which is more dangerous and done by only two to four men.  Large, squared "croquet" like mallets pound the transformed dough alternately as they each go faster and faster trying to not hit eachother or the single man below who is slipping his hand into fold and scrape the sides of the dough between pounds.  It is really quite thrilling to watch! When the still steaming dough is just right, the giant blob, about the size of a baby, is carried into the long table where dozens of women and girls have their duties as pullers or dumpling makers. Flour is everywhere and the chatter is energizing and filled with laughter.  They work quickly as the consistency changes with the cooling of the dough on the table.

At the end of the morning, dozens of bowls and tables full later, hundreds of dumplings had been made to share with friends, families and the community and even local hospitals.  Some specially prepared "snowmen" were formed by three dumplings stacked with apricot slices on top for good luck in the New Year.

Thank you to Kaz and his family for passing on the experience of their tradition, the treasure of sharing, for enriching your community and those who know you by your unconditional acceptance and love.

See the video trailer here:   http://www.vimeo.com/1917937    

You can purchase REAL at www.marthamartha.net  or authorhouse.com or amazon and barnes and noble.com

The Little Library that is making it BIG!

In our first few months of having REAL available, our hope of giving back to community and charity is being realized.  Recently, it has been an honor to work with the Friends of Shell Beach Library, to promote memberships and give part of our proceeds from FSL events to the library.  It is such a special, small, but mighty, place in our community. The people who make it come alive are devoted and such a pleasure!  In the last few years the library has expanded from the days of the two tiny rooms our kids visited when they were young.  However, it still has the small town friendliness, accessibility, and cozy ambiance that it was founded on.  It is interesting as we hear about libraries closing across the country in many cities, that this library is actually growing.  Thought its hours are limited, it is frequented by neighbors who love the convenience of walking over on a sunny afternoon to check out their books or videos, or just to use the internet. Thank you Friends of Shell Beach Library for all you do for our community!  We are honored to become of a part of that!

Miracles in Healing: Body and Soul

Recently we have received more reader photos of hands.   I am moved by the love, the tenderness, the hardship and the overcoming that is universal!  Here is a photo which reflects a reality of mother and child relationship.  Alex and her toddler son,  share a personal moment comparing their scars, how similar in position and size, and possibly the memory of pain.  I am reminded of how, as mothers, we try to raise our children in a safe and happy world, try instinctively protect them from injury or pain.  The reality is that it is beyond our complete control and injury is a part of life.  The blessing is in having someone there to pick you up, kiss the wound, wipe your tears and encourage, with a hug, that "it will be just fine".   It is a miracle of healing for our bodies and our souls, that we can overcome the hurt, it can get better and even be a part of what makes each person like no one else.  Thank you Alex and Christian.

Dreams and Acts of Kindness

We received this wonderful email from a reader this week and asked her permission to share it.  Her story here speaks for itself... of a thoughtful, caring and passionate woman who is obviously among friends in kind.  Thank you to  Melissa.   Enjoy her very moving and gifted words and the photo of her friend Vada. 

Dear Shelley Malcolm and Terilee Dawn Ouimette,When artists send their work out into the world I imagine that it might be nice sometimes to hear how it was received.  So in that vein, I wanted to thank you so much for your book, "Real", and to tell you how it came into my life.  I thought the best way for me to do that would be to attach the email (below) I wrote to my family.  I apologize for its long length, but I just didn't know how to pare down the story without losing some of its heart.

Although your book features hands, I sincerely believe that this special book has legs that will carry its light to far reaching places and people. Thank you for that.Sincerely, Melissa

We received this wonderful email from a reader this week and asked her permission to share it.  Her story here speaks for itself... of a thoughtful, caring and passionate woman who is obviously among friends in kind.   This is the other story she shared...   Thank you Melissa.  

"We make a living by what we get.  We make a life by what we give."

--Winston Churchill

Whenever I am stunned by a certain kindness that comes into my life I just want to share it with everyone I know. Remember the time I was in line at the Starbucks drive-up and when I got to the window to pay for my order was told that the woman ahead of me picked up my tab?

Or about two years ago how I nearly fainted when Susan handed me the long and much sought after, out-of-print book of poems written by developmentally disabled women entitled "Shout, Applaud"?  Despite her extremely busy and stressful life, she had searched and searched for it every week for well over two years after I had mentioned how much I would love to get my hands on a copy because the poems moved me to tears.

I've been the recipient of an awful lot of thoughtfulness in my life but to write about each and every one would make this email 20 pages long.

But I would like to tell you how I was blown away by another act of kindness just a few days ago.  First, I must back up the bus a bit and give you a little history.

About six years ago, I was working at Bayside Care Center as a social worker.  One of my patients there was a 107 year old named Vada.  She was just a tiny thing, looked like a little bird really, but she was a firecracker.  She had a beautiful black and white photograph above her bed that was a close-up of her own hands.  I absolutely loved that picture and was told that a family member of Vada's had taken it several years prior.  I asked Vada if she would mind if I brought my camera to work so I could take a photograph of that photograph.  She told me to go right ahead.  So, I did just that, although it did not come out very well due to the picture being behind glass.

But it was good enough to frame, and I kept that picture on my desk throughout my stay with Bayside.  It never ceased to capture the attention of whoever came into my office.  When I left and went to work at Cortina d' Arroya Grande, I took the picture with me and it got just as much attention there.

My boss, Kathy, noticed it right away and I told her about how I always had a fascination with hands and that I had a dream of creating a book someday:  when it is opened, the left side pages would be my photographs of someones hands and the right side pages would be the condensed life story of the person who owned those hands.  That was five years ago.  I only worked at Cortina for a year but Kathy and I remained good friends.  We have gone on to talk about thousands of things, but the Vada photo and my dream book were never mentioned again.

Fast forward to a few days ago when I went to the post office and received a package in the mail for my birthday from Kathy.  I took it back out to my truck, opened it, and pulled out the most incredible book!  I immediately started to cry.  The front cover was a gorgeous black and white photo of a pair of old, well worn hands and just the simple title:  "REAL".  And when opening the book, there on the left side pages were photographs of hands... and the condensed life stories of the owners of those hands on the right side pages.  I was blown away.

Then I noticed the first page- the book was addressed to me, followed by two little notes that were signed by the  photographer and the author of the book! THEN the next page contained one of my all-time favorite quotes (and obviously the reason for the book's title):

"Real isn't how you are made.  It's a thing that happens to you.  Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby.  But these things don't matter at all because once you are Real, you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

-Skin Horse to the Velveteen Rabbit

The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams

As I sat there staring at the book and wondering how on earth Kathy found such a thing, a folded up newspaper article fell out of the back page.  It was from an obscure newspaper and featured information about the release of the book, information about the author and the photographer, etc.  The article stated that the book could be purchased and signed at a local park for only 2 hours on June 5th, the day before my birthday.  Somehow Kathy came across this article and went down there and stood in the rain to get this book for me.  And I happen to know she was sick that day too.

Beyond being such a beautiful book, this gift moved me so much because it is a representation of one of the very best acts we can do for one another:  Listening.

Is also represents something else, but this will take me a minute to explain, so bear with me.  Remember the movie Phenomenon, starring John Travolta, Kyra Sedgwick, and Robert Duvall?  Travolta  is very interested in Kyra Sedgwick, but all she wants to do is live a quiet, uncomplicated life in the country making cane chairs and selling enough of them to squeak out a living.  She brings her chairs to town and tries to sell them outside of Travolta's garage.  No one is buying them.  But Travolta knows how much it means to her, so unbeknownst to Sedgwick, he buys her chairs.  All of them.  Every one she brings to town, he buys and stacks up in his house.  Eventually they become a couple.  Another character in the film says something derogatory about Travolta and that's when Robert Duvall steps in to defend him, saying something that I've always remembered.  He said that what Travolta did for Sedgwick is one of the true definitions of loving someone- find out what their dreams are and do whatever you can to help them attain those dreams.

And whether my dream was to create this book myself or just to have such a book come into my life doesn't really matter I don't think.

Surprising me even further is the timing of this gift.  Just as Susan managed to find the time every week to look for "Shout, Applaud" in the midst of such busyness, Kathy made it a mission to get this book for me despite the fact that she is going through a really difficult time right now.  She and her husband just divorced after 32 years of marriage.  They had been together since the 3rd grade.

After I looked at the book for a while, I drove to a little restaurant for lunch.  I was feeling loved and high on life and it felt as though my feet hovered just above the concrete when I walked.  It reminded me of how I felt when I was on a morphine drip in the hospital!  I brought the book into the restaurant with me and set it on the table.  The waitress came over to take my drink order and noticed it immediately.  She said "That is such a beautiful book!  Would you mind if I looked at it?"  I said that I didn't, and handed it over to her as she was wiping her hands clean on her apron.  She flipped through it and oooohed and awwwwed over it as I told her how I had just received it and that it made me cry.  She said "I can see why!  Do you mind if I show my friends?"  So, she carried the book around the restaurant showing the other waitresses, the cook, and the cashier.  They all looked back over at me and gave me the thumbs up sign!

Throughout my meal the waitress came over to check on me and each time she did I showed her a different photograph.  Finally, she just put her hand on my shoulder and said "I know this sounds weird, but that book gives me the chills!"  It was neat to see someone else have similar enthusiasm over the book.  I thought it was pay-it-forward kind of moment, so before I left I gave the waitress the bookmark that was inside the book which featured a photograph of hands and information about the author and photographer.

I've been savoring the book bit by bit ever since.  The book and the gesture have cracked me open and I've felt as though all kinds of inspirations and encouragements are being whispered to me from all corners.  It's created a sort of ripple effect of goodness.  So, although the book is entitled "Real", I am calling it the little book that could.

When I first arrived back home with it, I called Mom and Kevin to tell them about my gift.  Mom told me that I HAD to write the story down for everyone to read, so....there you have it!

And if anyone is interested in getting a glimpse of the book via its website, click here:

http://www.marthamartha.net/

Take care everyone!

melissa 

Long Distance Connections of the Heart

Our young people never cease to impress me.  Our DREAMS chapter includes a young group of friends, friends since before junior high.  They have an extraordinary bond and modern technology enables them to strengthen that bond through the miles, during their college years a beyond.  In the last month, each one has  continued to pursue their college education, some changing majors.  They have worked in grocery stores, smoothie shops, in restaurants and participated in intramural athletics and dance teams.  Recently,  each one has departed on a deeper stretch of dreams . . . . like an internship in San Francisco,  teaching in villages in Peru,  medical mission in Honduras, service and mission trip to China.  Please stay tuned!