Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Carpe Diem Wherever you are!

At times the swiftness with which time has passed just boggles my mind and I would love to turn the clock back and relive especially times with our four children.  As ambitious and adventurous as I am, I still miss their noises in the house, the laundry, and the amount of food that passed in and out of our refrigerator and pantry everyday.

Today I am feeling that sense of missing them, and yet rejoicing in their independence and individual ambitions.  The oldest, our son, is en route to Australia for yet another surfing documentary that carries him across the globe.  Our second, one of three daughters, is enjoying a break from her PhD program in El Salvador with her husband.  Our youngest leaves for Washington DC tonight for Former President Clinton's Global Initiative conference, and the middle daughter will be leaving for Paris for design and architecture study within weeks.  And once again, my husband is off slaying dragons all over California. 

It reminds me of my first night on the Inca Trail.  We had hiked about 11 miles or so from the trail head up in to the wooded and wild mountains.  My roommate was ill all night, poor thing.  She had to go out several times in the night and I went along, hoping to comfort, and to prepare us for any wild thing that might show up though the trees.... At one point, in our tent, I started to write in my journal, "Why am I doing this???? "  I am thousands of miles from my family, the ones I love. This makes no sense.  (My husband changed his plans last minute, and I chose to go anyway) 

As I imagined the things they were doing at that time, one surfing and filming in Barbados, one at a bachelorette campout in Malibu, one meeting an old friend in town, the other at a country music concert in LA, and my husband doing the work that he loves, I realized that they were all quite happy, and I decided that it was time to let that go and have the best time I could.  The freedom was a foreign feeling for a short time, but not for long.  I embraced the hike, the new friends, the amazing country of Peru for all I could.  It almost felt like early college days when I felt like the world was just waiting to be explored.  It reminded my of how important it is to have our own dreams and goals and to not be afraid to try something new, or depend on someone to do it.  

Parenting is the hardest and most important job in the universe.  It is worth giving up much to gain so much for your children.  I will be thinking of them all while I am at home enjoying the quiet and bare basics in the refrigerator or walking the beach with Hurley. 

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